It has become unbearable. Every night I go to bed thinking that maybe something will happen while I sleep. The Hypnobirthing soundtrack temporarily quiets my growing anxiety. Not about the birth, but rather about the stretch of days until the birth. Baby is due. I can’t imagine a repeat of last time: two weeks over; three days in the hospital being induced; and 18 hours later I finally held my baby. All I’ve got to hold right now is my breath.
We are doing the best we can to distract ourselves, but my baby belly is so gigantic its impossible to keep up the charade for long stretches. Bodium Castle, Scotney Castle, Birling Gap, Hastings, Chartwell (Winston Churchill’s home)…have all been stunning day trips. We spent a warm summer evening watching eleven hot air balloons take off from Groombridge Place. The south east of England, in the unbiased words of my husband, is the most beautiful place on earth. I agree for many reasons. I’ve never experienced the beauty of patchwork fields, the freedom of walking through farmland, quaint stone villages, fetes (country fairs) throughout the entire summer. Today Finn and I went to Ightham mote, yet another National Trust property, a home from the 1300′s beyond compare. It had the one and only grade 1 listed dog house in Britain – meaning it can’t be touched – home to a St. Bernard many many years ago.
That’s all for now. My attention span is useless these days…just about matching that of my three year old. I realize I should be enjoying these last few precious moments without a newborn strapped to me. But I don’t think anyone in our family will truly rest until she’s properly entered the world. Then we can all take deep breaths together.
We’re all with you – just as happy we don’t have to go through it! But the waiting sure is hard ;o) Would you let us know if the medical people start making plans??