know thyself

This is a common phrase in my family.  I’m learning that its not an insult, but rather sage advice.  A random collection of how it applies these days…

Running reality check: I don’t like it.  Its inexpensive, therapeutic, invigorating, and satisfying on many levels. I’ve been trying to get into it for many years.  I’ve had moments of enlightenment, months of commitment.  But they never last.  I simply cannot be consistent, I don’t enjoy it enough.  Even here, with all the lovely paths in the woods.  Nope.  I could Zumba every day of my life.  I love it so much, thanks to the lovely Trina Simmons.  I’m sure I’ll run off and on, but I no longer need to force it on myself.

Getting out of the house takes a lot of preparation.  It was challenging when it was just me.  Now there’s Finn to make snacks for and collect travel toys diapers wipes, etc.  I’m not a very organized thinker, so this can appear a bit chaotic.  I understand it can be tedious for he who waits for me.  I am definitely better at this than I have been in the past…but its not an obvious or dramatic change.

Ordering at a restaurant:  I am the queen of buyers remorse when it comes to food.  Admittedly I am a healthy and therefore rather picky eater.  Its hard to believe that at my age I still struggle with this. In addition, I’m a glutton for punishment.  If I find something I like at a restaurant, I usually cant force myself to order the same thing next time.  I am learning to judge the establishment a bit better.  At one pub meal, I ordered falafal.  Silly, really.  Pubs do lovely fish and chips, over cooked burgers, jacket potatoes, ham egg and chips, ploughman’s.  Unless it is a gastro type pub, do not experiment.   I know these things now- find a dish I like and stick to it and order pub food from pubs.

Cooking: I try.  Truly quite hard at times.  But this is relative.  I’ve got a few staples…dressed up beans and rice, various pasta dishes, veggie and not so veggie chilli.  I love cookbooks and I love cooking shows…Jamie Oliver, Nigel Slater are my heros.   The strikes against me are: I’m not a confident cook; I always try to make it healthy; and I’m a bit lazy to do it every day.  Recently we’ve found these amazing prepared meals for two from Waitrose and Marks and Spencer.  Northern and southern Indain, Thai, Chinese…elegant, excellent quality, and less expensive than take out!  I will continue to try, but I’m enjoying the helping hand.

Grocery stores (ones I like, usually the elegant ones) suck me in.  I can’t do the ‘pop in for one thing thing.  I love to look at all the lovely packaging, interesting vegetables, delicious possibilities.  I CAN do a ‘pop in to the ‘other’ kind of grocery store.  Unfortunately I don’t like the big mainstream kind.  I get anxious and panicky when I have to go in to Sainsbury’s for a big shop.  I used to feel the same way about Star Market.  Some may say I’m a snob.  I think I’m just a sensitive soul.

Coat and Bag: I’m convinced the perfect ones are out there, that the search will end one of these days.  But this is likely untrue.  I should say ‘coats’, for I really mean one for late fall/winter; one for spring/early fall; one for summer.  The bag must be big enough to carry snacks, toys, diapers…small enough for when I’m on my own (and when it that?)…lightweight, practical, and sexy all at once.  Both the coat(s) and the bag must be good for travel.  Any recommendations are totally welcomed…

Winter: I only like it for a month or so.  After that, I’m ready for something else.  My ‘plan’ is to spend about three months in a warm climate every winter.  It will eventually happen…whether its southern Spain or Costa Rica or California or somewhere yet to be discovered.  I’m looking forward to it.  In the meantime, when I do get  sun here in England I’m DEEPLY appreciative!

I guess some of us spend our lifetime learning ourselves.  And for some of us it takes relationships, moves, kids, new jobs, no jobs, old and new friends, internet searches, and blog posts to get a clearer and clearer picture.